Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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