Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
