At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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