What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
whose parrot is this?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
