I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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