ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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