This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
