there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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