Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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