maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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