'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
