Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
