Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
