then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
