just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
