You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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