Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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