the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
