i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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