Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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