Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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