one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
