so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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