Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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