you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize