did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
