Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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