just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Fuck appropriateness.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
