She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
