VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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