Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
