It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
