watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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