her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
