Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
