Having a random hookup so left but love u
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
