I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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