I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
