What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
