I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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