my vag is so smooth its legendary
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
and you fell through a lawn chair
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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