I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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