some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
