Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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