I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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