dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
