im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
