In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She bit a glass in half.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
