someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
