Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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